trails

love whispers softly

we’ll have to lean in closer

just to feel the sparks

we’ll burn and glow to embers

and watch the ashes burn away

i can see it, too.

Jesus, you’re always there
you never leave, you don’t forget me
you want my heart, here it is
i cannot live on my own for
i am too lonely and incomplete without you
how do i know? i can’t see past this
you loved me first and always-
before i even knew your name
even after i abused you and used you
you’re patient and willing to see past my flaws
my heart beats faster when i speak your name
you are the very essence of truth-
love personified.
love crucified.
love alive,
living inside of me.
i am alive.

unfold your love.

they say you feel what i feel
they say you always here with me
i don’t understand why i am so far away
why is this so hard?
why is so hard to keep breathing?
i can’t live like this much longer.
i feel like i’m fading into nothing
they tell me that you’ll keep me warm
i’m crying and i’m cold inside.
i’m so lonely and all by myself-
i’ve known this my whole life.
save me from this;
please, can i depend on you?
if your heart is as big as they say it is
can you live for me, too?
why are you waiting, watching me
as i cry face down on the floor ?
they say that you are love,
why do i feel so much hate?
boiling inside me, why won’t you change me?
i call and get no answer,
who will sing for my redemption,
who will care for me?
will i breathe for much longer or
stab myself deeper?

the final cut.

in the end, nobody is perfect.
an adulterous love that wears barbed wire
fingernails and lips,
severs me in two and cut open,
i am birthed into the world.
one by one, i count my blessings,
swallow my fear and reach out
i’m tired, but i’ve got to keep looking for my sun.

silent plea.

looking ahead, into each others eyes,
we face each other
passing by to what is unknown,
my eyes follow you and
i forget to keep walking
fingers itch to tough your lips, your smile
it feels like i’m deceiving myself
you are a flame i cannot hold
i lie and say hello
when i want to say
i need you close to me

everyone but me.

i would give you my heart
if i could find out how to start really loving you.
i’ve run through my mind
so many different ways
it could have worked out that night
i’ve played my favorites over and over.
you opened your heart and
i saw you for the first time
you were beautiful.
those were the words you said.
now they’re stuck in my head
wish you’d have opened your eyes,
i was holding my heart in front of you
get the hint, see the picture!
i don’t know which is harder,
the obvious or the unspoken tension.
hide and i will seek to find you
don’t put walls between us
i was tired before i started looking
but i would travel far just to rest in your arms.
is that alright?

childlike faith.

Rewinding back in time
before the rejection
fear
pain and
pride aged me.
back to when love
actually meant something.
reborn.

for when i don’t know what to pray.

there are times when everything is alright and i love You.

and then life hits me and i don’t even know if You care.

its hard to remember Your promises when

i wonder if You’re even there.

if this is a test of faith, Lord help me,

i am helpless without You; show me that You’re God.

remind me of Your endless love and

answer me when i come to You in tears.

i am a feeble dirty soul utterly dependent upon You.

i will not move until You ask me to,

i will not speak until i have Your grace to do so.

take the weight of the world off my shoulders,

and replace it with the weight of Your presence,

that’s all i’m asking for.

God, grant me the strength.

this morning, i woke up and my heart was heavy.
be my strength today, i am weak.
be my mercy, please, i am torn
between weeping and closing my eyes;
each breathe is filled with sadness.
today, i need your love.
songs of life dance all around me-
even now, i am familiar with your joy.
serenade me with your presence, God.

how to fall in love with God.

i rushed in-
a little scared and uncertain.
i saw them raise their hands,
i reached out to the sky.
i wondered what love must have felt like.
tears filled my eyes and spilled onto my cheeks-
my head was racing trying to figure out
what i was doing and
then i did the riskiest thing:
i gave up my life so that
i would live free.
i fell in love with God.